“What is it that I love when I love my God? It is a certain light that I love and melody, fragrance, food, embrace of the God within, where, for my soul, that shines which space does not contain; that sounds which time does not sweep away; that is fragrant which the breeze does not dispel; and that tastes sweet, which, fed upon, is not diminished; and that clings close which no satiety disparts – this is what I love when I love my God.” – St. Augustine.
Two years ago, I worked seven nights a week at a homeless shelter and experienced more balance in my life than I have this year! This year, I’ve paired my work hours down to 40 hours a week (versus 80) but have experienced a great deal more stress and imbalance on all levels. How can that be so?
Rewind to two years ago – I was a nun and had dedicated my life to God. My lifestyle on all levels supported this focus. I lived in a monastery that was conducive to living a contemplative life. I knew what my purpose was and had a one-pointed focus towards that end. I felt, in a way, like an athlete preparing for the Olympics – everything was aligned with the goal. All that didn’t serve the goal was eliminated.
One of my practices was to block out two hours a day just prior to going to work for (what I called) active meditation. At least 3 days a week, I rollerbladed on the greenbelt by the river (a place of beauty). This was sacred time and I wouldn’t change it for anyone or for any reason. Other days, I’d sit by the river or walk in a nature park downtown. Usually afterwards, I’d go to a coffee shop or restaurant and eat dinner and read. When I went into work, I was full – overflowing and could then give from this abundance. And, from this space of connection to the divine, I was an effective vehicle for love and compassion. I could tell this was working by the consistent feedback I received from the shelter guests. Most would line up after they checked in for hugs and just collapse in my arms saying ‘i’ve been waiting for this all day’. When I left at midnight, I was more full than I had been before I started.
A little over a year ago, I left the path of nun to live and do the work of spirit in the middle of life. This has been a year of experimentation and has been a bit messy! After six years on the path of nun, I entered into a relationship a year ago that just ended a few weeks ago. For the past year, my focus has been scattered and I have not taken care of myself the way I had been. I spread myself too thin and did not take the time to fill up. I ended up giving from an empty bowl – meaning that the giving was drawing on my personal reserves versus flowing through me from source. As a result, my work was not at the level that I expected and this created inner turmoil. I have been accused (and rightly so) of being overly optimistic – and I was. I thought I could do it all. Give 100% of myself to God. 100% to my people. 100% to my relationship.
Right now, I am reveling in my aloneness and taking the time to fill up and make myself more available – fully – again to my people (those that I serve). Interestingly enough, at the same time that my relationship ended (which was a gift really – both the relationship and the ending), I was promoted to Shelter Director which means that I don’t do the night shifts at the shelter anymore. I work more during the day in a managerial role. For the past two weeks, I’ve mostly stayed away from the shelter at night (we are an overnight shelter) and focused on getting caught up with work as well as self-healing. I felt the call to begin going in at night for a few hours several times a week to reconnect with our guests. The first night back, one of the guests, a man who had stayed with us last year as well, came up to me. I reached out to hug him as I could see he was open. We embraced and he then stepped back. He put his hand on his heart and got teary eyed and said ‘I love you. You know that you are like a mother to me – to many of the men here. I want you to know this.’
There are sacrifices that need to be made in order to live a life of service at this level. To do service every now and then – no. But to live a life that is in service of the divine requires personal sacrifice and a lifestyle that allows you to fill up on a daily basis and connect to source. I have learned that if I want to live up to my own expectation of what this service will look like, then I need to make the commitment to self-care and a lifestyle that supports this work. It’s a matter of finding what works for you and then making a commitment to this – making it ’sacred time’. We can’t give from an empty bowl. This is why people burn out – they give from their own personal reserves. That is not possible at this level of service. It is to connect to source and allow that pure love to flow through you – it doesn’t come from you but through you. The litmus test is whether you feel more full or drained. If you are drained, then you’re drawing on your own reserves.
Many blessings on your path!
Photo Credit: Pray by Saad.Akhtar on Flickr. Creative Commons license.
I read this piece by Sri Chinmoy and it quite resonated with how I approach working with those who may be – well – challenging and perhaps not so easy to love at first sight. I work with those who are homeless – many of whom also have mental illnesses and addictions. To see the face of God in everyone is a practice.
The Heart of a Lover by Sri Chinmoy
It is quite easy for one human being to love another if he sees the divine in the other person. It is always advisable to go to the root, which is God. If we want to love someone, the best thing is for us to love the One who is all Love. If we know how to love Him in Himself, then it becomes extremely easy to love Him in a human being.
When you see that a person’s defects and bad qualities are obvious, try to feel that they do not represent him totally. His real self is infinitely better than what you see now. Try to see the divine in others in spite of their limitations.
By seeing someone’s limitations, we do not help the other person in any way. We only delay our own progress. If we find fault with somebody, his undivine qualities are not going to disappear, nor are ours going to decrease. On the contrary, his undivine qualities will come to the fore in his defense, and our pride, arrogance, and feeling of superiority will also come to the fore. But, by seeing the divine in someone, we expedite our progress and help the other person to establish his own life of reality on a divine foundation. We have to see others with the heart of a lover and not the eye of a critic.
To see the divine in others, we have to love. It is truly said that where love is thick, faults are thin. If you really love someone, then it is difficult to find fault with him. Love means oneness. A mother, in spite of knowing her child’s countless limitations, does not stop loving him, because she has established her oneness with him. If there is imperfection in the child, the mother claims the imperfection as her very own.
If you find it difficult to love the human in someone, then love the divine in him. The divine in him is God. God exists in that person just as God exists in you. To love God is extremely easy because God is divine and perfect. Each time you look at an individual, if you can consciously become aware of God’s existence in him, then you will not be disturbed by his imperfections or limitations.
Photo Credit: Amodiovalerio Verde on Flickr. Creative Commons License.
The Karma Yogini Journals explores contemplative service (aka karma yoga, seva, engaged spirituality) from an interspiritual perspective.
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“Whatever you do, whatever you eat, whatever you offer, whatever you give away, whatever austerities you perform, do all of them as an offering unto Me.” – Bhagavad Gita
Article: THE ART OF BUILDING SHRINES: A LESSON IN KARMA YOGA by Swami Atmajnanananda
Photo Credit: Locator on Flickr. Creative Commons License.
Roger Walsh, M.D., professor of psychiatry, philosophy, and anthropology at the University of California at Irvine and one of the founding teachers at the Integral Spiritual Center offered a Karma Yoga Seminar in Boulder where he outlined 9 steps for practicing Karma Yoga.
Karma Yoga is the yoga of work and action and service in the world where daily activities are transformed into a contemplative practice. The essence of Karma Yoga is: 1) dedicating whatever you’re doing to a higher goal (traditionally offering it to God); and 2) while simultaneously relinquishing attachment to the outcome.
1. Stopping what you are doing
2. Coming into the present moment
3. Setting your intention & dedicating the activity
4. Doing the activity as impeccably as you can (committing to impeccability – giving yourself 100% to the activity)
5. Bringing as much awareness at you can to your experience and monitoring all the reactions that come up
6. Consciously working with those reactions
7. Attempting to release attachment to how things are going (i.e., to results)
8. Taking time to reflect and learn about the whole process
9. Offering or dedicating the benefits
A point that Roger makes throughout his presentation is that one can practice karma yoga in all of life’s activities – at work, doing the dishes, through service work, in relationships, etc. This is an important mind shift for me as it’s much easier to be conscious of doing karma yoga when involved in meaningful service types of activities versus when I’m cleaning the house!
In 5 short video clips, Roger goes into more depth on each of these points. In order to view them, you need to be a member of Integral Naked ($10 per month, cancel anytime and the first month is free).
The Karma Yogini Journals explores contemplative service (aka karma yoga, seva, engaged spirituality) from an interspiritual perspective.
We all have the experience of suffering within our lives – even if we have found our way out of suffering to one extent or another. We have people in our families – people we love who seemingly choose to live in the cycle of pain and suffering. If we are actively engaged in service work in the world then we can see many many people who are suffering and many who perpetuate their pain and live in an endless cycle of suffering.
I work with individuals who are homeless. Most also have addiction issues and many also have mental health issues to one degree or another. Most are chronically homeless; meaning that they have lived this life for a very long time – some for most of their lives. There are many opportunities present for them to decide for something different – housing programs, social service programs, support groups, therapeutic communities, religious/spiritual organizations, health care programs, etc. Now, I’m not saying that all of these exist in absolute abundance or are all highly effective, but there are a lot of opportunities within the community for people who wish to make a different choice for themselves. Yet a good number choose to remain stuck in this lifestyle. This past year, I’ve conducted three memorial services for homeless friends who have died; three of my favorites – Neil, David and Carl. It hurt my heart so and evoked anger and frustration towards some of my other homeless friends who are following in the same footsteps as these three men.
How do we accept when those we love choose to live lives of pain and suffering? It seems easier to accept others choices when their lives don’t directly intersect with yours. There are hundreds of men and women in my community who are homeless that I truly and deeply love. There are people in my own inner circle of family and loved ones who choose to continue to suffer; sometimes very deeply. Knowing that there is a way out; that pain is inevitable in this physical world of duality, but suffering is optional makes it ever more frustrating. Why would someone choose this if it’s not necessary? But is it necessary?
Eckhart Tolle in an interview in What is Enlightenment, shares his thoughts on suffering:
“The purpose of the world is for you to be lost in it, ultimately. The purpose of the world is for you to suffer, to create the suffering that seems to be what is needed for the awakening to happen. And then once the awakening happens with it comes the realization that suffering is unnecessary now. You have reached the end of suffering because you have transcended the world. It is the place that is free of suffering.
This seems to be everybody’s path. Perhaps it is not everybody’s path in this lifetime, but it seems to be a universal path. Even without a spiritual teaching or a spiritual teacher, I believe that everybody would get there eventually. But that could take time.
…So it’s good that people are lost in the world. I enjoy traveling to New York and Los Angeles, where it seems that people are totally involved. I was looking out of the window in New York. We were next to the Empire State building doing a group. And everybody was rushing around, almost running. Everybody seems to be in a state of intense nervous tension, anxiety. It’s suffering really, but it’s not recognized as suffering. And I thought, where are they all running to? And of course, they are all running to the future. They are needing to get somewhere, which is not here. It is a point in time: not now—then. They are running to a then. They are suffering, but they don’t even know it. But to me, even watching that was joyful. I didn’t feel, “Oh, they should know better.” They are on their spiritual path. At the moment, that is their spiritual path, and it works beautifully.”
from Ripples on the Surface of Being, an interview with Eckhart Tolle by Andrew Cohen.
The last few sentences really stuck with me when I first read this – “They are suffering, but they don’t even know it. But to me, even watching that was joyful. I didn’t feel, “Oh, they should know better.” They are on their spiritual path. At the moment, that is their spiritual path, and it works beautifully.” Wow. I imagine that to truly believe that would bring about a great sense of peace and acceptance about what other people are choosing for their lives. Who are we to believe that we know what’s best for another? How do we know that this path of pain and suffering isn’t exactly what someone needs in order to eventually come to the place where they desire freedom from suffering?
I believe that it’s easier to accept that when we ourselves have learned to deal effectively with our own personal pain and suffering. I’m sure you’ve known people – and perhaps you yourself – who cannot stand to see another suffer, whether that is a person or an animal. They become nearly incapacitated and overly emotional. They must do something to help save that person or animal from suffering. That isn’t in and of itself a ‘bad’ thing. But it’s important to be clear on the motivation. Do you want to liberate another from suffering because you yourself can’t handle suffering – is it about you or about them? And, often when the motivation is from this space then the help or service that is being offered is less than effective.
I think that if we all examine our lives and the journey we’ve been on, we can easily see how pain and suffering has actually led us to deeper wisdom, clarity, healing, and growth. In hindsight, we can say ‘if it wasn’t for _____________, I never would have learned _______________.’ We can see the gift that pain and suffering has offered to us in our lives. We can also learn how to effectively transform our own pain and suffering and in the process learn how to be present in the midst of others pain and suffering. And not only present, but accepting that right now this is their spiritual path.
I believe that our role as sacred servers, karma yogis, aspiring bodhisattvas is to liberate ourselves from suffering first and to be the demonstration of this within the world. I believe that this is truly the only way to liberate another from suffering – to demonstrate to them that it is possible. And for those who aren’t ready – we love them and keep on loving them even if they never choose to become liberated or awakened in this life. Eventually they will.
Resources:
The Engaged Spiritual Life – A Buddhist Approach to Transforming Ourselves and the World by Donald Rothberg. Chapter 4: Opening to Suffering – Opening to Compassion.
Photo Credit: Homeless Sleeping on the Sidewalk by Franco Folini. Creative Commons license.
Fix your mind at the Lotus Feet of the Lord. Give the hands to work. Even when you work, work like the typist or the harmonium player who types or plays while talking to you, like the woman who knits and talks at the same time. Let your mind be ever attached to the Lotus Feet of the Lord while your hands are at work. The mind of the girl who has the water-pot on her head, is on the pot even though she talks and jokes with her comrades while walking along the road. You will be able to do two things at a time by practice. The manual work will become automatic, mechanical or instinctive. You will have two minds. A portion of the mind will be at work, while the rest of the mind will be in the service of the Lord, in meditation, in Japa. Repeat the Name of the Lord while at work also. Ashtavadhanis do eight things at a time. They play at cards, move the man in Chaturanga play (chess), dictate some passages to a third man, talk to a fourth in order and continuation, and so on. This is a question of training of the mind. Even so, you can so train the mind that it can work with the hands and can remember God at the same time. This is Karma Yoga and Bhakti Yoga combined. - from the Practice of Karma Yoga by Sri Swami Sivananda.
In walking this path of sacred service, one of my great contemplations is how to stay mindful or aware of my connection to the Divine Source on a moment by moment basis throughout the day as I work, serve and generally go about my business. When I was a nun and veiled, this was much easier. I was ever mindful of my connection to the Divine and if I ever forgot, others would remind me by their glance, words or actions. As a visible representative of the Divine within the world, I was viewed and treated as a woman of Spirit. The benefit to me was that I remained mindful of my connection to the Divine and my purpose 100% of the time.
This past November, I left the path of nun (e.g., of renunciation) to live in the world, with the world and for the world – to serve God by serving God in humanity. The purpose or intention for my life hadn’t changed at all, just the ‘how’ of it. The people I was ‘serving’, had known me as a nun and so when I arrived at the shelter that night without my veil and ‘habit’, there was certainly a stir! However, they knew me as a nun and continued to hold me in that light. As a nun, I was called Mahajayne. ‘Maha’ is a title meaning ‘one who aspires to become one’s Great Being.’ It’s been a hard transition for my homeless friends to switch to calling me Jayne. Many asked me what Maha meant. When I told them, they would get thoughtful for a moment and then say ‘You’re still Mahajayne. You’ll always be Mahajayne.’ Mostly now I’m referred to as ‘Mamajayne’ or sometimes just ‘Sister’. The name was also a way for me to remember my Divine connection.
The question now is how to hold that space of connection and remembrance of the Divine without the assistance of external props. I will tell you that this is a work in progress for me. When the shelter was open (November – March) my practice before going on shift was to hold my Mother Mary pendant and state my intention to open my heart fully to love and compassion. I would breathe with this focus for a few minutes until I felt connected. I would go off by myself in the 15 minutes before we opened and meditate. Before opening the doors, I would station myself at the threshold of the shelter so that after each person checked in at the front desk, I would greet them – call them by name, ask them how they were doing and offer them a hug if they were open. My intention was to see the face of God in all of the guests. For the most part, I was successful in my intention. One factor that influenced my success in staying connected and mindful throughout the night was how full I was before going to work. If I hadn’t taken care of myself by eating well or getting enough sleep or taking the time to play or just be, then I wasn’t full enough to remember my connection and give from this space of love.
The previous winter sheltering season, which was my first year of doing this type of service work, I needed to be at the shelter at 5:00 to set up for opening. I usually had to stop at the store for supplies at 4:15 or 4:30. I set aside the time period from 2:00 – 4:00 to play every day. My ‘play’ was to rollerblade on the greenbelt along the river mostly. Sometimes I would walk in a nearby park in downtown Boise that is abundant with wildlife – ducks and geese, of course, but also other birds, fox, deer, and blue heron. I would slip off the path and go sit in the trees by the water and meditate before heading to work. This was sacred time for me and I held to it adamantly. For no reason would I change this routine.
To remember and be strong in our connection to the Divine throughout the day, takes a focused intention to care for ourselves and to connect with the Source regularly in whatever way works for us. This remembrance must be a priority or we will easily get swept away by all the million things that arise in the course of our day.
Andrew Harvey, author and mystic, says that service to oneself is essential on this path. He outlines four things needed if we want to do this work which he refers to as sacred activism.
I would encourage you to take 10 minutes to watch this video by Andrew Harvey that goes into more depth on service to the divine and service to oneself.
Reflection Questions:
One of the ways I nourish and sustain myself in this work is through the inspiration provided by others on this path. I’ve found that those who provide me with the most inspiration are people who:
Here are some of the people who most inspire me. Who inspires you? Who do you inspire?
Dorothy Day, co-founder (with Peter Maurin) of the Catholic Worker Movement
Mother Antonia, a Catholic sister who has lived the past 25 years in a cell at La Mesa inTijuana, Mexico, one of Mexico’s most notorious prisons, caring for the inmates.
Father River Sims is an ordained priest in the American Catholic Apostolic Tradition and a monk in the Order of Christian Workers who lives and works in the Polk neighborhood of San Francisco.
Temenos Catholic Worker is a not-for-profit ministry that provides support to homeless youth in the Polk Street Neighborhood of San Francisco. The ministry is carried out in the spirit of Jesus of Nazareth and in the Catholic Worker tradition of Dorothy Day and Peter Maurin.
This past Spring, I hit a point where I urgently needed guidance in my work with the homeless. I knew I needed to talk to someone who was also walking this path and who could guide me from direct experience. I didn’t know anyone who fit this bill! I called out to the Divine to guide me to such a person. That day, I found and connected with Father River and although we are from different faith backgrounds, we share common values and a very similar approach. One of the things I most appreciate about him is his passionate commitment to living a life of simplicity as part of the community he serves. Please check out his work at www.temenos.org.
In the Media:
STREET MINISTRY: FATHER CHRISTIAN RIVER SIMS TENDS TO THE CITY’S HOMELESS, JUNKIES AND SEX WORKERS
Mother Antonio, The Prison Angel
Two years ago, I consciously began walking the path of sacred service. I was a nun in a contemplative spiritual order for about 4 years when I had the opportunity to serve in a deeper way. Soon after I took my ordination vows and ‘took the veil’, I started working as a shelter administrator for an interfaith homeless shelter that served about 75 people a night during the first year and 85-100 per night in the second year. The shelter is the only one in the city that accepts people who are under the influence of drugs or alcohol as long as they can meet the minimal behavior standards. One night during the first week I was there, I was walking up and down the aisles of beds while people were sleeping. I stopped in the middle of the room and vowed to myself, my soul and the Divine that I would keep my heart open no matter what; that I wouldn’t shield or protect myself from the pain and suffering and that I wouldn’t run. I knew that in order to be a true channel for divine love within the world that my heart had to remain open. You can’t both protect your heart from pain and suffering while at the same time keeping it open to the source of love. It’s all or nothing. Although I had been involved in service as a volunteer for most of my life, this was the beginning of consciously walking the path of sacred service.
What I learned nearly immediately is that you can think all sorts of things about where you are at spiritually, but until you are tested in real life, it’s in your head. Sacred Service provides you with the best way to honestly evaluate where you’re at. Can you stay centered in love, in joy, in peace with your heart wide open while standing in the middle of pain and suffering? When do you shut down? How can you remain deeply connected to the Divine Source on a daily, even minute by minute basis? Walking this path of sacred service moved me from my head into my heart.
The first year at the shelter, I worked 7 nights a week – 80 hours a week. Every night I would return to the Monastery and review my experiences. How was I able to keep my heart open? When did I want to protect or shield myself? Was I able to stay centered? How was I successful? Where did I need work? Last November, I left the path of nun (e.g., of renunciation) to live in the world, with the world and for the world and continue my work of service with individuals who are homeless.
“A true Karma yogin is he whose heart has implicit faith in God, whose mind has a constant awareness of God and whose body has a genuine love for God in humanity. It is easy for a Bhakta to forget the world, and for a Jnani to ignore the world. But a Karma yogin’s destiny is otherwise. God wants him to live in the world, live with the world and live for the world.”- Sri Chinmoy
What is Sacred Service?
Sacred Service is about service as a spiritual practice. Interchangeable terms for this are ’seva’ or ‘karma yoga’.
Seva (say-va) is a spiritual practice of selfless service, springing from two forms of yoga, Karma Yoga which is the yoga of action, and Bhakti Yoga, the yoga of worship inspired by divine love. Seva should be done with no expectation of reward or even acknowledgment of the work that is done. We serve not to convert or save a soul, but simply to serve and for no other reason. No strings attached. No carrots. Make yourself invisible and do acts of kindness without expectation of return, coming from a place of love.
Karma Yoga is the path of selfless action. It is to renounce the fruits of one’s action and perform actions with pure intention, devoid of selfish motive.
5 Types of Service
Andrew Harvey, author and mystic, talks about 5 types of service:
I would encourage you to take 10 minutes to watch this video by Andrew Harvey that goes into more depth on the first two types of service – it’s inspiring!
Interested in staying connected? You can subscribe to the blog by RSS feed or receive email updates. Feel free to comment on posts of interest or email if you'd like - jayne (at) karmayogini.net.
